History Repeats, Again!

History Repeats, Again!
History Repeats, Again!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2013 Will be the Dumbest Year Ever

With the forgivable exception of the world ending (see below), all my other predictions for 2012 came true (here).

Given that I seem to have been blessed with the gift of augury, I feel obliged to offer these prognostications for 2013. (Feel free to add your own in the comment section!)

  • Nintendo will release a miniature game console called the Wiini
  • Apple will spend its cash hoard to buy a small country for its competitors to live in.
  • Momentum to legalize marijuana will fizzle as activists forget what they were fighting for.
  • In the USA, gay marriage initiatives will pass in 10% of the states.
  • The US Constitution will be modified to allow citizens the right to carry concealed nuclear weapons.
  • Texas will finally outlaw forced conversion of vegetarians.
  • Admitting that “fluorescent lights really suck,” California will decriminalize incandescent bulbs.
  • The British Royal Family will make it official by starting a reality TV franchise.
  • Popular baby names will include #Hashtag, Snapchat, and Poke.
  • New apocalypse fears will arise when scientists discover an "off by one" math error in the Mayan Calendar.
  • The arrival of a very bright comet will renew the global debate over very bright comets.
  • Controversial scenes in the new Star Trek movie will trigger outrage from Vulcans.

 If  your New Year's Resolution includes adding brain cells to compensate for those you killed in 2012, you probably shouldn't read my novel, "No Roads Lead to Rome."