After a grim and grueling year, our well-deserved December holiday is finally here. We will don pointy red hats, exchange gifts, and eat too much. Drink we must and drink we will. We will celebrate the Birth of The Lord on December 25th.
Time to party like its 123 A.D.
The festival of Saturnalia starts on December 17th and culminates with the birthday of our glorious Sol Invictus on the 25th. We pray and sacrifice for King Sol to light our benighted world.
It’s the most beautiful time of the year, the joyful season when both the poor and the mighty decorate their shops, homes and streets with brightly colored ornaments when. We light candles and hang lanterns to counter winter’s darkness. Our neighbors and co-workers wear outlandish outfits, and many enjoy the temporary suspension of public morality to dance, disrobe, and engage in acts that would be make a pig blush during the rest of the year. For those who need extra encouragement there will be mulled wine and spiced drink to lubricate long nights of wild irreverence.
Don’t hold back! What happens in Saturnalia, stays in Saturnalia
Every city, town and village will designate a “Lord of Misrule” to lead the way, encourage mayhem, and speak truth to power. Remember: short of murder, nothing you say or do during Saturnalia can be held against you. Bosses become workers and workers, bosses. The meek inherit the earth and turn it upside down, if only for a week. So stick it to The Man and enjoy it while it lasts.
Alas, no good tradition goes unpunished. There is a dark side to all the merriment. Prudish forces of political correctness are trying to co-opt our ancient ways. The holier-than-thou insist upon saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Io Saturnalia.” These self-proclaimed saints demand that the traditional week of debauchery be replaced with just one quiet, solemn day on the December 25th.
Don’t be fooled by these repressed pilgrims! The puritanical few should not be allowed to dictate morality over those of us who honor tradition. We true believers must hold fast to our lasciviousness and sacrifice. And when it comes to sacrifice, don't forget that the Gods prefer suckling pigs.
Want more? The first chapter of "Aqueduct to Nowhere" will transport you back to the Saturnalia festivities and chaos that follows in 123 A.D..