History Repeats, Again!

History Repeats, Again!
History Repeats, Again!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Save the Rich!

If you are jealous of the rich, don’t be. The rich have problems you can’t imagine or afford.

Let’s say, for example, you’ve got 100 million dollars. Sounds great, right? Wrong. 100 million bucks is nothing but trouble. For starters, to keep that money FDIC insured means you’d need about 500 checking accounts. Think of all the passwords you'd have to remember.

People without money think cash solves all problems. People with money know it doesn’t --that’s why they don’t want you to have more.

To be rich is to be different. Everyday of your life, you feel isolated, alienated from the regular people who take care of your tennis court and pool. It’s not easy having green.

I know you’re not buying this. You think its easy being over-privileged. But who can they trust? Where do they turn in times of need?

The rich are shunned. Recently the world's top bankers were so lonely they had to award themselves bonuses for surviving the financial crisis they caused.

The rich are discriminated against. That’s why they need more tax breaks.

With the exception of the US Senate, there aren’t any non-profit organizations around to aid the over-privileged.

You pretend to be tolerant and understanding, but ask yourself: Would you be comfortable if an over-privileged family moved into your neighborhood? Rich people living right next door?

Would you let your sister marry one?

Imagine this. You’re walking alone one night on a dark street downtown, near the theater district. Suddenly, the opera is over and the street fills with rich people. Nervous?

You betcha! 

Now it gets worse. One of them tries to talk to you, thinks you’re his driver or something. What do you do? You pretend not to hear him. You act like he’s invisible.

Later, you make excuses like, “What am I supposed to say to rich people? I don’t know anything about private islands, fractional Learjet shares, or hundred-year old Cognac.”

You say you respect their culture. You say you think rich people should be treated equally, but that’s exactly where you’re wrong.The golden rule doesn’t apply to the ones with the gold. 

You think it’s respectful to treat them the way we want to be treated? They don’t want to be treated like us!

So have some sympathy for our lonely, depressed, over-privileged rich brethren. Smile and wave when their limos pass. 


  1. "Recently the world's top bankers were so lonely they had to award themselves bonuses for surviving the financial crisis they caused."

    :D Such a funny and quite thought provoking read.

  2. Check out this article from the Atlantic Monthly on the problems of the super-rich. I feel for them...