While state legislators debate public workers' right to collective bargaining, radical nurses, teachers, and Wisconsin state employees insist on exercising their right to freedom of speech and assembly.
What started off as a festive rally in the snow-covered capital of Madison turned ugly last night. Club-wielding plainclothes cops on Segways rushed and beat a contingent of kindergarten teachers. The teachers claims to have been handing out warm milk and graham crackers could not be independently verified.
While the national press focuses on unrest in Libya, reporters have steered clear of The Badger State. The news blackout has protesters frustrated that only democracy movements abroad grab headlines. “We need Al Jazeera!” shouted a militant from the Fond du Lac Mosquito Abatement District.
In a thinly veiled swipe at Michigan, an assistant spokesman for Governor Walker’s wine steward accused out-of-state agitators of fomenting unrest. State security officials have expressed concern over new breaches in the border wall with Minnesota and religious extremists were warned not to take advantage of the situation.
Vowing to prevent Madison from becoming the next Tunisia, Governor Scott “Hosni” Walker has called in the National Guard to protect the Nation’s cheddar reserves. The Obama Administration was caught off guard by the move and contradicted a recent State Department statement assuring “America’s longstanding support” for the regime in Wisconsin which has always been “a bulwark against universal health care in Canada.”
Citing every workers right to collective bargaining, the Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers have offered to let disenfranchised state workers join the NFL Players Association. “We didn’t fight Pittsburgh abroad just to lose our civil rights back home,” said a player who requested anonymity.
In response to today’s “Day of Polite Disagreement” and threats that Friday will be a full scale “Day of Disappointment,” internet and cell phone access have been cut off. Without Facebook and Twitter, protesters have devised alternative communication strategies including “talking to each other.”
This video was smuggled out of Wisconsin yesterday
Thank you for this post. I am a state worker in Wisconsin, and this whole mess is really getting ridiculous. I'm glad to see that someone outside of Wisconsin is paying attention, as this could set a nasty precedent for other states that are facing a budget deficit. I agree that the budget needs to be fixed, but Walker's strong-arm tactics are like fixing a leaky roof by setting the house on fire.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work!