Here are my most optimistic predictions for 2012!
Science:
The Higgs Boson will be found right where Higgs left it.
Experts will determine that Stonehenge is an ancient parking structure.
The world won’t end in 2012 but by December we’ll wish it had.
NASA will discover many earth-like planets, none with chocolate.
Politics:
In a bi-parisan breakthrough, the US Congress will agree to start 2012 on Jan 1.
In an epic flip-flop, Mitt Romney will deny he’s ever run for president.
Testing the Supreme Court ruling that corporations are people, Exxon will be elected President of the US.
Excited by the possibility of an ignorant populace, US Congress will completely defund education.
Commerce:
Facebook and Google will merge to form Face-Goo.
Italy will propose replacing the Euro with a new currency called the Nero.
The stock market will go up, then down, then sideways.
Culture:
Diana Ross will reunite with the Supreme Court.
Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee party will be louder than the Sex Pistol’s reunion concert.
The Rolling Stone’s 50th anniversary tour will be sponsored by Ibuprofen.
Mumford will have a daughter.
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